Tisha B'Av: A Day For Rejecting Repentance

There is a time for teshuva, but Tisha B'Av is not that time... for a very important reason.

I will soon return to the topic of faith and doubt that I began discussing in the previous post. Today, in preparation for Tisha B’Av, I want to share an article that I wrote over a decade ago. It addresses the reasons that Tisha B’Av (at least until the latter part of the day) is a day where we blame our travails on ourselves, but don’t ask for forgiveness.

One of the most dramatic and famous kinnot of Tisha B’Av is Arzei HaLevanon – “Cedars of Lebanon” – which describes the brutal murder of the rabbinic martyrs during the Roman persecutions following the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash and the Bar Kochba revolt. It closely echoes Eleh Ezkera – “These I will remember” – an equally well-known selicha in the Yom Kippur musaf service which also describes the murder of the ten martyrs. Nonetheless, despite the similarities, the two accounts differ in several important ways.

One of these differences is the omission from the Tisha B’Av service of what is arguably the most famous image in the entire story. According to Eleh Ezkera, Rabbi Yishmael, upon hearing the verdict, purified himself and ascended to the heavens to inquire whether or not the decree on earth was also decreed in the heavenly court. He was informed by the angel Gavriel, “Accept this upon yourselves, righteous and beloved ones, for I heard from behind the heavenly curtain that you have been ensnared in this [decree].” Only after Rabbi Yishmael received this tragic confirmation did the Romans begin their horrible executions. In Arzei HaLevanon, however, this entire account is strangely absent.

Rav Soloveitchik zt”l explains that the reason for the recitation of this episode on Tisha B’Av differs from that of Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, we read Eleh Ezkera because of the principle that the death of the righteous atones for our sins; in the same way that we mention other means of achieving forgiveness, we also mention the death of our greatest sages. Accordingly, Eleh Ezkera is punctuated with the chorus, “We have sinned, our Rock; forgive us, our Creator.” On Tisha B’Av, however, we read Arzei HaLevanon because of the principle that the death of the righteous is as devastating as the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash; rather than acting as a request for atonement, it is a pure expression of grief.

Because of this distinction, the dramatic episode of Rabbi Yishmael’s heavenly ascent is omitted from the Tisha B’Av kinnot. On Yom Kippur, we mention the ascent in order to highlight the fact that the ten martyrs died willingly. Their loving acceptance of the divine decree makes their actions even greater, and strengthens the atonement that we receive on their behalf. On Tisha B’Av, however, we are not interested in atonement; accordingly, their internal mindset is irrelevant to our grief. All that matters is that they are gone, and the world must continue without the guidance of those great men. For this reason, Rabbi Yishmael’s mystical journey is unrelated to the themes of Tisha B’Av, and has no place in the kinnah of Arzei HaLevanon.

Interestingly, the idea that Tisha B’Av is not a time for repentance or forgiveness is mentioned in Parashat Devarim, invariably read the Shabbat before Tisha B’Av. Moshe there recounts the sin of the spies, and Hashem’s subsequent statement that the generation would be forbidden from entering the Land of Israel. Despite G-d’s decree, the people attempt to repent: “You said to me [Moshe], ‘We have sinned to Hashem; we will go up and fight, exactly as Hashem our G-d commanded us.'” Nevertheless, G-d immediately warns Moshe, “Tell them not to go up or to fight, for I am not in your midst; do not be destroyed before your enemies!” (Devarim 1:41-42) Although Bnei Yisrael are merely trying to do what they were originally commanded to do – that is, to conquer the Land – G-d is not willing to accept this form of repentance. Indeed, Bnei Yisrael attempt to ascend to the Land of Israel anyway, and are badly defeated on the battlefield.

Chazal tell us that the decree to die in the wilderness was issued on Tisha B’Av. We also see that it was and remains a day which is not designated for repentance. Why would such a theme exist? Is it not true that nothing can stand in the way of true repentance?

Although every individual wants his sins forgiven and his repentance accepted, the occasional rejection of our pleas teaches an essential truth about G-d. Too often, we think of Hashem as the grandfather who will give us everything we want, regardless of our own merit. And when the gifts we demand are not forthcoming, we question the fairness and even the very existence of that grandfather figure. Forgiveness, by definition, is an undeserved gift. (Indeed, the Kabbalists speak of G-d’s forgiveness being rooted in a spiritual concept called Arich Anpin, which is also called “the Grandfather.”) A mature relationship with Hashem requires recognition that He is under no compulsion to do as we wish; He is absolutely free to do as He pleases. We can never demand something of G-d; we can only request, and request with the knowledge that the answer may be no. This is the meaning of the Talmudic teaching, “Anyone who prays for a long time and expects his prayer to be answered affirmatively, will come to heartsickness [i.e., his prayer is likely to be rejected]” (Berachot 55a, according to Rashi’s interpretation). Someone who expects that G-d will do what he wants Him to do – to follow orders, so to speak – cannot have a real relationship with Him.

Bnei Yisrael’s flaw, in ascending to the Land of Israel despite G-d’s warning, was that they thought that they could tell G-d what to do. They felt that their repentance was sincere, and that G-d would have no choice but to help them. G-d never has to do anything, and any attempt to force Him into a particular action is theologically shallow and spiritually devastating. On Tisha B’Av, we refrain from repentance so that we acknowledge His freedom to do as He wishes, whether or not we are satisfied with the consequences.

On Tisha B’Av, we sense G-d’s distance. On Tisha B’Av, we recognize that He does what He wants, not what we want. And through this painful recognition, we open the doors to a better, deeper, and more complete relationship with the One above. Armed with that difficult but fundamental understanding, we are better prepared to become reunited with our Father, as we move from the exile of Tisha B’Av to the ultimate reconciliation of Yom Kippur, sixty days later.

For my commentary on many of the kinnot of Tisha B’Av morning, please go to https://jewishcoffeehouse.com/the-kinot-of-tisha-bav-explanations-and-commentary-bonus-episode-rerelease/ or search for that episode of the Orthodox Conundrum wherever you get your podcasts.